“With a name like Smucker’s, it has to be good.” Readers of a certain vintage will remember this famous ad campaign and the inevitable SNL parody spoof. When analyzing NESCAC rosters, we didn’t find anything quite like Smucker’s, but we did uncover plenty of players worthy of our inaugural CACLAX All Names Team. Since some rosters are not yet released, we relied in part on returning players from 2024 teams. Winners of these awards will not only reap excellent resume and LinkedIn material, but they are also eligible for a grand prize drawing for a case of Smucker’s jam. (Details below.)

In case you were wondering, by far the most popular name on NESCAC rosters is Will (24) and that’s not counting an additional six Williams plus a Billy and a Willard. Middlebury alone has six Wills or Williams on their roster, plus a Billy. The next most popular names are Jack (17), Ben (15) and Matt (14).

Enough spreadsheet nerdiness – check out the All Names Team sorted by category below.

Favorite Last Name for Lax Dads to Scream from the Sideline

Brayden Warde – Conn

Cole Ward – Wesleyan

Plus More Lax-Related Names

Duncan Rider – Trinity

Harrison Cross – Williams

All Tailgate Team 

(These player names bring a food & beverage angle to any post-game celebration.)

Bennett Chow – Amherst

Xander Frey – Bates

Nico Berger – Amherst

Ryan Frank – Conn

Jed Hoggard – Bowdoin

Cade Schuckman – Williams (rocking the oyster bar)

Henry Cabot – Conn College

Joey Kraft – Tufts

Will Rice – Conn

Ethan Cobb – Trinity

Quinn Berry – Bates

Tucker Graham – Williams

Ben Steingass – Amherst

Matt Stein – Colby

Rye Kushner – Bates

Human Anatomy Team

Braun Lippe – Tufts

Reece Hickey – Hamilton

Hayden Shin – Trinity

Kieran Shin – Trinity

Trevor Pettibone – Colby

Ethan Lung – Trinity

Brian Hart – Bates

Connor Hartman – Bates

Holiday Team

Nate Holliday – Middlebury

Brendan Easter – Middlebury

Alec Easterby – Wesleyan

Brian Winters – Tufts

Ryan Winters – Bowdoin

Cameron Reath – Trinity

Noah Chappell – Amherst

Unchecked Aggression Team

Joe Hurton – Wesleyan

Will Spehr – Middlebury

Cooper Lance – Bates

Lance Dominick – Hamilton

Bryce Hall-Knight – Tufts

Casey LaForce – Hamilton

Lucas Braun – Bates

Gage Dado – Wesleyan (saw blade - get it?)

Jayme Wilde – Hamilton

Bob Gross – Amherst

Jack Gurney – Conn

Graves Thomas – Middlebury

Ben Burns – Wesleyan

Alex Byrne – Bowdoin

Brooks Byrnes – Tufts 

Beau Burns – Bowdoin

Liam Rule – Bates

Colin Flood – Colby

PJ Flood – Hamilton

Matthew Fierro – Bowdoin

Kyle Mannherz – Hamilton (graduated, but name is too good to exclude)

Most Inappropriately Named

Kyle Short – Wesleyan (he’s 6' 2")

Jack Pyne – Bowdoin (started as a freshman, never rode the pine)

Crown Jewels Team

Justin Pearl – Hamilton

Graydon Diamond – Conn

Charlie Silver – Wesleyan

Drew Nicholson – Williams

Bowman Rhinesmith – Tufts

Names Too Cool to Leave Out:

Devin Prettyman – Wesleyan

AJ Zuleta – Williams

Tighe Hoey – Hamilton

Denzel Evans – Bates

Colter Lingelbach-Pierce – Conn

Lucca Casagrande – Wesleyan

If we missed any names worthy of the list, please let us know!

And if you made the list and want to win a case of Smucker’s, just drop us a DM on Instagram to put your name in the hat. We will select the grand prize winner by February 7, 2025.